Wednesday, December 01, 2004
"One Quarter-Hour Just Wasn't Enough," Says Deposed Quiz Show Champ
HOLLYWOOD, CA (Ant Farmer's Almanac Newswire) Now that his historic winning streak on the popular game show "Jeopardy" is over, Ken Jennings has announced that he will use a portion of his $2,520,700 prize money to buy himself an additional 15 minutes of fame.
"I'd thought that the money and the attention would be satisfying enough," said the formerly mild-mannered know-it-all, "But I want more, more I tell you; and now I can afford it," adding "Mwahahahahahaha!"
Asked what he plans to do with 15 more minutes in the limelight, Jennings quickly replied, "What is nailing both Hilton sisters and plunging headlong into a years-long orgy of public debauchery and wanton self-indulgence, followed by arrest, rehab and a regular spot on "Hollywood Squares"?"