Friday, November 21, 2003

Ab Fabulousness 

While watching a TV commercial for a fitness program that promises to give you "rock-hard abs", I wondered if rock-hard abs are really an entirely good thing. Couldn't there be a downside?

DOCTOR: "I'm sorry, there's nothing we can do. Your husband is going to die."

WOMAN: "But it's just appendicitis. That's not fatal, is it?"

DOCTOR: "No, not usually, but our puny medical instruments are no match for his rock-hard abs. There's no way we can get in there."

WOMAN: "What about lasers?"

DOCTOR: "The buff, granitelike surface of his torso would cause the laser beam to ricochet all over the operating room, killing everyone in it. We just can't take that chance."

WOMAN: "Sob."

DOCTOR: "There, there."

Besides, if you could make any part of your body "rock-hard" would your abs really be your first choice?

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