ant farmer's almanac

Dear Ant Farmer's Almanac,
Since you don't have an email address, how is it you have letters from readers? I don't understand.
—Puzzled

Dear Puzzled,
Good point. But, answer us this: how is it we have a letter from you?
—Ed.

Dear Ant Farmer's Almanac,
In the face of a likely BuschCo. recoronation, I admire your willingness to risk IRS audits and God-knows what other retribution from this vengeful administration. Hat's off to your damn-the-torpedos bravado!
—Admiring from a safe distance

Dear Safe Distance,
We have never once sworn at torpedos. IRS?
—Ed.

Dear Ant Farmer's Almanac,
How can I add zest to my tuna salad?
—Zestless

Dear Zestless,
Try adding dill, mix some spicey mustard with the mayo and use India relish instead of sweet relish.
—Ed.

Dear Ant Farmer's Almanac,
Does club soda really get food stains out of fabrics?
—Soiled

Dear Soiled,
Yes.
—Ed.

Dear Ant Farmer's Almanac,
Is this a reader letters entry in a blog dedicated to humorous, savvy social and politcal satiric writing or a column dispensing helpful tips about recipes and housekeeping? ps: who's this "Ed" guy?
—Different Puzzled

Dear Different Puzzled,
In answer to your first question: Maybe. As for your second point, we're not sure who "Ed" is, either. We were gone for a while and when we got back, he was just kind of here, and, since he'd watered the plants and kept the place so tidy, we couldn't just ask him to leave.
—Ed.